Ms. Cormier

Ive spent countless nights awake
trying to write a poem
that could encompass
your beauty
or your strength
or your love
ive seen the sun rise
and set
and rise again
and i am at a loss
for there are no real words
that can exemplify your excellence
and when they asked me
to write a poem for you
i may have even thought
it could be easy
you are my grandmother after all
and we had a bond
that transcended
phone calls
and visit
family gatherings
and meals that made us meet
but
i havent slept
only at times
i wasnt supposed to be sleeping
like at 11am
on thursday afternoon
and dreamt when i should be dreaming
like driving down the 110 N
and missing my exit on my way home
i cannot put your love grandma
into iambic pentameter
and your beauty into an ABAB or AABB rhythm pattern
i cannot
alliterate all the ways
you allowed me to alleviate the stresses of circumstance
with your always present never selfish love
and even coltrane cant calm me
my mind goes a mile aminute
like his sax on most records
no order
no reason
just you
how do I write a poem
about a woman
who's attributes
cant be explained
in words found in the dictionary
believe me
ive looked
no words to emcompass
the strength you possessed
my heart is full
but my brain is empty
and when my heart is empty
my brain is
full of nothing
i cant win
i am now missing
another piece
of the puzzle that makes me
we said prayers at my bedside
slipped me lemon drops
among the very pews
we sat to mourn her loss
taught me the prayers
so i could say them with you
i was
grandmothers baby
and as i got older
that seemed to escape me
but during the hardest times
you listened
while i cried
im not gonna lie
i thought i had time
to reminisce with you
not about you
but here we are
and what can i say?
What can I really say
to show you
that you meant the world to me
how can words
speak the language of my heart
even the rosetta stone
couldnt decipher that part
How can i fit you
into Iambic Pentameter?
How can I confine you
in an ABAB or AABB?
When you were prose to me
Because the lines
dont always rhyme
but they work
and this has to be
the hardest thing ive written
because it hurts
all I can say is
there is nothing like
a mothers love
so a grandmothers love
must be that squared
and even though
i wasnt at all prepared
im glad you were ever there
I love you