Sunday, October 12, 2008

instincts

"We just had a near-life experience"

-Chuck Palahniuk


We almost really lived
Almost experienced
What life is really about:
Taking chances
And making statements
We almost
Made the most
Out of what were made of
Living outside the walls
Built around our hearts
Because this is
An amazing representation
Of dreams coming true
Of life running wild.
With reckless abandon
We almost
Made each other happy
Happy enough to make us
Leave a path
Instead of
Individually following
The ways we were on
Almost lived enough
To one day
Tell a notebook story
Enough to say
we really loved
Instead of trying to
And we really lived
Instead of buying past lovers rings
Who we aren't sure
Were made for
We opened our hearts door
And shut our minds
Exited ourselves
And entered each other
Followed a path
That lead us to one another
And we almost really lived
And tried and loved
Before we die
Looked at the answers
In the sky
And not the logic in our minds
Telling us that this step
Outside ourselves
Won't help
But
It won't hurt
Unless were in the dirt
And never did it
Never lived.





Quotation courtesy of www.quotationspage.com

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

insomnia

There's this ghetto bird
That keeps me up at night
Wondering which one of our brothers
Has fallen victim
To its propellor of death
They say
Not to follow the light
But like moths to a flame
We are singed by our curiousities
We can't get no satisfaction
This ghetto bird
Or shall I say
This urban bird
This keen watchful eye
Of our inner city communities
What do u want from we
Are u looking for me
Cuz I'm up
Can't sleep
Smoking this weed
Please
Just let us be
Ghetto bird
Your back again?
What do we need to do then
That will let you
Let us
Sleep peacefully...

Friday, October 3, 2008

denial

I don't want to say it
I know it
Just don't wanna admit
She was right
Without so much of a word
How did she know
My struggles run so deep
When I've tried
To keep my interaction so shallow
I guess I'm not managing to keep my
Heart in my chest
And my smile on my sleeve
How many people can really see through me?
I know the truth
And I just don't want to say it
Don't want to admit
I mean
You should have seen
What he done to me
Not the hurt so good
My heart bleeds tears
My face no longer wants to shed
Ears hear words hit brain like bullets
Used to flow like syrup
Mr smooth talker turned 180 degrees
Still making me feel 90 in the shade
And I still
Don't want to say it
Just don't want to admit...

Thursday, October 2, 2008

♥ chronologically...

ive come a long way
since dj quik had me
sitting in my room
thinkin bout you
reminiscin on the freaky little things
we used to do
bein that
down down down chick
wonderin why you bullshittin
hypin yo squad up
like yall was really crips

a long way
since three 6 was the sex mix
i sprinkled holy water
in your el co
o na na na na on the nextel v-mail
and whenever my phone a ring
tiki ting
tiki tiki tiki ting
hello
who dis?
i wished it was you
had me hooked on popeyes as a faded food
puttin five on it
hotspots in the hills
the isley brothers singing body kiss
im aching for the love of you

and my neo soul brotha
had me glad to find a man
Goapele could sing to
i was getting closer to my dreams
but you were caught out there
i still hate you so much right now

a long way
since i was jane doe
that monica monica monica
who thought he was mine
black and mild kisses
happy hour bliss
party all the time
i found out lil wayne could actually rhyme
the whole while u had a bitch in the back
and a hoe in the front
and id had my time...

a long way since you touched me softly
rekindled a flame
planted some life seeds
i wayne sang as i weened myself off you
overlooking the city
we grew together and apart
forever you'll be n my heart

then the underground
came to my surface
i was wearing stunna glasses at night
didnt know whether to fight
or flight
but your nurturing
and needing
made me overlook your nature
wondering where did my baby go
when the love wasnt shown
i was lost without you
and you were always gone
and in reality
you couldnt stop being a dickhead
and i couldnt leave you alone

and you...
even in darkness
there is a light that shines
its agony and ecstasy
cuz at the root of it all
your not mine

(to be continued)

Pray 4 Me

Hands on chest say pray for me
though his hands prey on me
his mind on my heart
but the hands on his chest
say pray for me
though little girls cant survive his wrath
making women out of us yet
picking up pieces from a breakdown
lost without a path
prey without a prayer
need hands on chest that request a sayer
but he gets the blessing
because the hands on his chest
say pray for me
but where's the prayer for me?