love purgatory: no more questions

we have reached the end of the road
and boyz II men is not singing
because i do not belong to you
nor you to me
we were
having fun
at some point
i remember
there were times
when I didnt have to wonder
and whether youre aware
i didnt really care
but somewhere along the line
we did a 180
you turned yeses
into maybes
and questions into crazy
and while you were never punctual
you werent full of bull
and that i could appreciate
we turned lust into love
and we could have done without
smiles into frowns
made moutains out of mounds
we let our feet leave the ground
and now
we fucked up
see
i told myself previously
no sad love poems
no, "i dont feel pretty's"
no, "im not good enoughs"
no, "how could you run out on our loves?"
but presently
i feel all those things
and i could do without
believe me
you know me
i think
but regardless of my feelings
i gotta keep going
because i said
i wouldnt write any sad love poems about you
said these emotions wouldnt control me
even though they kinda do
shit i was in love purgatory
waist deep
and you refused to dip your feet
and that 180 became 360
but that extra 180 became me
and i couldnt deal
with starting from the beginning
i still cant imagine that you would wanna leave me
but
what
can
i
do?
move
thats it
forget
quit
and get on with it
we have come
to the end of the road
and no
ill never let go
but i am
going on....

love purgatory

something is just not right
you are not the one for me
but you captivate every brain cell
you activate every nerve in my system
and though im not nervous around you
i should be
because you have the power
to crush me
like
me ant
you giant
i never stood a chance
but i never stood the stance
that signaled WARNING
no bullshit within 50 feet
somehow i let you reach me
the physical is what keeps me
but your mystery is what intrigues me
makes me want more
than your body beneath me
but im reaching
your enigma is predictable
your reasoning is political
even more reason to believe that you are full of bull
but even that does not pull me away
in fact
you draw me so close
theres no space to fit
the one thats supposed to replace you
his only intention is to meet me
im annoyed that its not you im speaking to
honestly
these niggas aint shit to me
you included
but like an anomaly
still you are secluded
and though your purpose alludes me
i cant get over what you do to me
i STILL cant tell you not to stop
before you keep going
and its only getting better
i try to keep it dry
but you only make it wetter
i just dont get it
i just cant hit that nail on the head
pin the tail on you donkey
one night with you
im singing songs the next morning
still spent
but i keep up with your cycle
and when i picture it
we are each others
reduce
reuse
recycle
because
there is no end
we have not reached a zenith
there wont be one reached
but we will continue
on this path to no where
because theres parts of our lives we share
and parts of our lives we keep
theres between the sheets
and the time in between
these answers we seek
but in these questions we steep
we
are
stuck
in love purgatory
while your testing the water with you finger
i got one leg in
because i only figure
i know how to swim
and im watching you unsure
while im wading in the shore
and still my heart is yours
so i say
something is not right
you are not the one for me
and i am not the one for you
but somehow
we continue